something about moving to a new country for no clear reason motivates a person to live life creatively. this doesn't necessarily mean one lives it better, or even well, but instead that she does so in a new way. i've been living outside myself for upwards of three months now, and have learned that physical separation from all one knows sets free this reckless abandon for life that encourages just that: abandon. in order to live fully this new life i was creating, it was easier - no, necessary - for me to sweep my previous existence (friends, family, coworkers, pretty much everyone i know) under the rug.
three months later, i wonder to myself "why is my rug so lumpy and my heart so restless?"
i'm learning, one day at a time, how casual and regular sweeping, mopping, and general upkeep eliminates the necessity of sweeping mass quantities under the rug at any one time. i either need to maintain a normal life or get a maid, cause mi casa has stone floors and no rugs.
You are doing such amazing things!! You are really finding & perfecting the real raw you. The you that you are when you aren't influenced by normal routines, friendly faces & obvious judgements. It's shocking & beautiful to find the real you when you get set free.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to find what your life needs to be normal & if it's getting to messy you can always set your casa on fire & move right the F on because no one knows who you are but you.