"a fridge full of thanksgiving"

so....... a terribly daunting party for 30 turned into an intimate gathering of 10, and gracias a dios it did. it was delicious; the conversation was lively, the supply of wine was seemingly unending, and the turkey was wrapped in bacon for christ's sake. after a few weeks of the ups and downs of uncertainty, i found myself feeling a bit of home, finding the warmth i've often been lacking in this country. shit, i woke up this morning with a nearly clean kitchen (after cooking without cleaning for over 6 hours the day before) and treated myself to a cafe con leche and eggs cooked in bacon fat. i didn't need to seek out any adventure, i was comfortable with my cigarettes and pork right at home.

but no matter how quickly unrefrigerated butter melts around here, time passes so so so slowly in arroyo hondo II...

it's that moment the afterglow of getting a puppy wears off, when the little puta bites your hand and draws blood... it's that moment you realize (listening to pink floyd's "sorrow," of course) that you are not the person you want to be

what's a girl to do? does she go to punta cana to see for herself that things are gonna work out (or blow up in her face)? does she keep seeking the ups knowing damn well that she'll suffer just a few too many downs because of this pursuit?

i think she does like she always does, and on these off nights consoles herself with wine, skim ice, and dominoes... fuck, just charge the hotel to my card, cause we all knew i was gonna go back and do it again anyway.