karma's a bitch (and so are you)

in the past 8 days, a shitstorm has blown my way. to list it all out here would diminish its shittiness, so i won't belabor a point, but just trust. you know that season finale of weeds in like the 2nd or 3rd season where nancy ends up in the growhouse with u-turn and marvin and the armenians?


it was kinda like that

now, i recognize using nancy botwin as a frame of reference may undo the point i'm about to make, so try and focus on the picture and not how terrible she is...

i don't much believe in god, and money - as much as i love it - isn't a reliable enough deity for me. but karma, ooooooh karma... i believe in that sonofabitch because it's slapped me across the face too many times. yet somehow, i think i've confused the concept a bit to suit my needs (like any good follower), at least until recently. i thought as long as i wasn't putting any bad out in the world, no shit was gonna wash up on my shores. not only was that not the case (as a buddy of mine at work often puts it, "bitches, man"), but it was also a little passive for my taste.

today, when i came home to a healthy and happy puppy, a fixed washer/dryer combo, a $1400 set of loans paid in full, an ant-free apartment, a butt-faced kitty on the way, and news that my bff will be living not 2000 miles away but closer to 2 miles away for the next year or more, it was like good gave me a big ol slap (like a smack on the ass from someone you're happy to be in bed with). sure, i used my passive karma to get myself part of the way there- i didn't punch the guy who tried to take my laptop when walking home on lincoln a few weeks back, nor did i yell "mamaguebo" at the guy who tried to steal my cellphone just three days ago. i've been keeping my mouth shut (and sometimes literally running and hiding) instead of seeking out confrontation. but shit, i've been calling my mama nearly every day, paying my bills on time (at least trying?), and attempting to swap out my angry "motherfucker!"s with affirming "motherfucker!"s for a job well done.

be careful, y'all, i seem to be learning my lesson.