charlos

i'm getting a cat

i'm getting a cat to keep my dog company

i'm getting a cat to keep my dog company because i feel guilty when he's lonely

i'm getting a cat to keep my dog company because i feel guilty when he's lonely due to the fact that i care more for him than most living creatures

back in the day, when i liked to fight any fight for the sake of controversy, my argument was that man must have been pretty fucking lonely to invite a wolf into his home for company, and therefore pets were stupid.

yet i wasn't lonely when i got charles almost 4 years ago now. and while outside judgment and my track record this past year might indicate otherwise, i'm not particularly lonely now.

shit, in all fairness, charles is kinda stupid.

but i care about him. he loves me for food, he loves me for shelter, he loves me for warmth, and - now that i'm in this fucking unending summer of a country indefinitely - he occasionally loves me for air conditioning at bedtime. he "loves" me because i project that emotion onto his furry little face and imagine he has human feelings... but he loves me because i love him back.

i'm one of the most selfish people i know (though, to be fair, i think we're all in our own top five "most selfish people i know"... if you're not deluding yourself into some state of martyrdom, of course), yet when it comes to my dog i'll pretty much put myself into a thousand different situations from which i will gain nothing (and possibly lose quite a bit of money).

so i ask you, people-who-are-no-longer-reading-this-blog: why can't i do this with human beings?

i think it's cause they talk back. and most of the ones i've loved are crazy.