"you can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another"

nothing like being really fucking sick to make a girl think about life

yeah yeah yeah, i know i spend most of my time just pondering life, whatever...

my stomach of steel is no longer; just one piece of room-temp pica pollo from the corner comedor was enough to have me puking my guts out for over 8 hours. i've been told i'm a bad patient, and as much as i hate to admit it i know it's the truth... but this morning, in the 4th hour of heaving, i panicked (and not just the oh-but-i-hate-going-to-the-doctor/trying-to-pull-out-my-iv way).

what am i supposed to do, living alone, single, at 7am, when i can't even stand up on my own?

i'm a lucky bitch, cause a friend was in my apartment caring for me in my crazy motherfucking whining and puking frenzy bedroom by 8am, and another pal was bringing me smoothies and reminding me to take my meds for the afternoon shift.

i don't really know what i wanna say here

but, in between the puking, sleeping, crying, shaking, cursing, and sweating, i did a lot of thinking. and it seems that i'm setting up something here for myself. whether intentional or otherwise, the people who matter reached out today (some even going as far as to reach out and hold my hair). sure, culinary school's the next step, and lord knows imma love france, but why am i always in such a rush to get to the next thing?

i think i'm ready for my new tattoo