dominican "the boy is mine"

and a refresher for all of you who did not call home sick every afternoon in the 6th grade to watch BET at her friend's house:

"nothing says love like 2000 miles between your cigarette"

skype is the best

feliz navidad

"since when does trilingual karaoke equal christmas?"

oh jay, i was wrong...

just because i wanted you to be doesn't mean you were actually my pet. you're just a moth, aren't you?

allow me to reintroduce myself

there are a lot of little creatures that have made their way into my life these past few months, a few have even snuck into my bedroom. problem is, while bugs never much bothered me in los estados unidos, i'm finding myself a gringa who doesn't much care for grillas (or black flies, wasps, tarantulas, mosquitos, long trains of ants, roaches, cacatas, and select reptiles i've encountered in this country). i don't squeal and run from them, but i don't care for them, even kill a few mosquitoes, ants, and roaches on occasion.

so, the other morning, when my 6am toothbrushing was interrupted by the frantic fluttering of a 3-inch-broad moth in my bathroom, i was less than pleased. i may have even muttered "diablo" to myself in a bout of frustration as the furry motherfucker made its way out of my tiny bathroom and into my room proper.

in my first days here, someone mentioned that when those big, dark moths appear indoors, superstition holds that "company's coming." as i got ready for work, blow-drying my hair not two feet from this moth's position on my bedroom wall, i couldn't help but wonder who my company would be...

fast forward through a full school day, i returned home to find that my new tenant had not left my room - scarcely moved an inch on my wall, if at all - and began to ponder my next move. if i trapped it in a cup, i could take out in the backyard. if i was feeling really vicious, i could smash it... but no, this bug was big enough to be a pet, and, if squished, one hell of a mess on my bedroom wall. so i let him be... he'd leave on his own, when he was good and ready.

by nightfall, he bounced. went right out my window as i watched.

and this morning, company came. but company wasn't who i expected, it was jay:


for whatever reason, he flew back, found a new spot, and stayed another day... my decision to let him chill on the wall undisturbed, to do things on his own time, encouraged his return. to be fair, he's probably only here because my room has a wicked cross breeze and keeps cool during the often-sweltering days, but i like to think if i let him into my life on his terms, he'll want to keep coming back. one day of sharing my room with a giant moth is weird, and two days is likely a fluke, but if jay is back again tomorrow, i think i'll call him my pet.

"god, she's a fucking stuffed animal

a vicious robot diabla"

the power never went out today...

but instead of constantly fretting it would go out at some non-3-6pm-time, i just appreciated the consistency. chicken and dumplings without the dumplings, you'd never notice there wasn't any chicken (unless you go lookin for it).

"everyone thinks vince vaughn would love them"

drunk ashley is so wise

"i really want to get a pedicure soon...

... and a blackberry. i'm so dominican."

i've never seen a dominican in leggings

rico suave was really just "rich smooth" in english

isn't it weird when you tickle yourself and don't feel it?

i'm gonna name my kids "hogwarts"

... all of 'em

the best thesis of all of them uses the word "ass" in it

we talked the essay topics to death before the test

i didn't grade the first round of essays cause they were so far off

i held individual conferences with each student for 10-15 minutes to discuss what needed to change in the next draft of the essay exam

even went as far as to create entirely new outlines with some students

re-wrote

missed the boat

the only essay i have that makes any sense has a thesis statement that ends in "ass."


what am i doing here?